Friday, April 29, 2005

International Respect for Chickens Day

International Respect for Chickens Day is approaching. In honor of this holy day, I will be eating McDonalds chicken nuggets for lunch and Gladstone’s chicken meal for dinner. Seriously, this has to be the result of one of those mental trips that vegans endure from lack of protein. Why create a holiday centered around respect for chickens? While we’re at it, we need to establish Happy Ham Day, Love for Eggs Week, and Tuna Eve. Yes, all animals should be respected for their roles on the Earth and in the food web, but a holiday honoring the meat in my sandwich is not necessary (unless I can miss work for it, that is.) The president of United Poultry Concerns is the one who invented the “holiday”, according to Fox News. (,2933,154856,00.html) She wants us to honor the “beauty and life of chickens”. First of all, has she ever seen a chicken? Live chickens are ugly creatures. The only “beauty” a chicken displays is when it is cooked to a golden brown surrounded by potatoes and drowned in gravy. What about Thank A Soldier Day? Or Nurses Day? Or Women’s Day? Grandparent’s Day? These are individuals who live beautiful, honorable lives. More so than chickens or any other poultry. These are individuals whose contribution to the world needs more recognition than a piece of meat. So on International Respect for Chickens Day, you will find me in line at Chik-Fil-A, paying tribute to chickens for their most important service to mankind: lunch.


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